The Homo Novus Introduction
by DrWackaDoodle
Summary: In the distant future, Sheldon has a conversation with his Homo Novus. Pure fluff. One shot. Shamy.


This popped into my head early this morning as I was editing the latest chapter of Ten Dates. Sheldon meets his homo novus. Pure fluff. Set in the distant future. One shot.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters appearing in this work of fiction belong to Chuck Lorre productions and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement is intended.

He's never felt a love like this, so instant, so complete... so pure. As Sheldon sits in the chair next to his wife's bedside, he is holding his newborn son in his arms. It's taken 24 months and a gruelling 31 hours of intense labor to get to this point, but he has a son. Sheldon Cooper is a father. Who would've thought? Amy had trouble conceiving and they underwent two unsuccessful rounds of in-vitro fertilization before being successful. Third time is the charm indeed. A son.

The baby begins to stir in his arms and Sheldon doesn't want to wake Amy, so he stands and walks over to the little bassinet looking for the baby's pacifier. Spotting it in short order, he momentarily wonders how wiggly a newborn is as he shifts the baby into laying against his shoulder and, supporting him with one arm, he grabs the pacifier with his other hand. Success! Coaxing the baby into opening his mouth, his son greedily takes the pacifier before closing his eyes and goes back to sleep. His son. Unbeknownst to Sheldon, Amy has awakened upon hearing the baby fuss. She closes her eyes as she soon realizes that Sheldon has everything under control. Feigning sleep, she listens as Sheldon talks.

"Hi little guy. I'm your daddy. Scary thought, huh? I know. I'm scared too," Sheldon says. The baby doesn't stir. Sheldon glances at Amy, and seeing her still sleeping, he decides to have a moment alone with the baby before everybody else arrives in a few hours.

"Welcome to the world. We've been waiting for you for 41 weeks and 5 days. You're late. Don't make a habit of that, okay? That's your mommy over there. You met her already. She's the one that was screaming just as loudly as you did when you arrived. Mommy doesn't usually scream like that. I've heard that labor is the worst pain imaginable. I don't have any first hand experience but from what I saw today, I'm certain that is true. What should you know about Mommy? Well, for starters, she loves you even more than I do, if that's even possible. Mommy had to teach me how to love. I used to think that love was simply a biological function caused by the release of oxytocin, and while it is, it's also so much more . I didn't know that until your uncles Howard and Raj, you'll meet them later today, introduced me to your mother. We were set up on a blind date after being matched by an online dating site. That's how us intelligent people become pair bonded. Your mommy doesn't know this, but from the second I first laid eyes on her, I was awestruck. Let me tell you, that doesn't happen easily for me. Your mommy is absolutely brilliant. She's a world class neurobiolgist. That's the study of the brain. She's revolutionized the way science views addiction and just was awarded the Nobel prize in chemistry. That's a huge deal. We're proud of Mommy. Immensely proud."

"After Uncle Howard and Uncle Rajesh introduced me to your mommy, it took me another five years to figure out that she was the woman who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Son, when you are grown and pair bonded, whether it be to a female, male or that new robot that Uncle Howard is selling by the millions, don't let that person... or robot... think that they are not important to you. I made the mistake of not making your mother a priority in my life and I almost lost her. I had to work very hard to regain her trust and prove my love. Relationships are hard work, but they are also about giving all of yourself to that other person. I didn't know that at the time. I proposed to your mommy on Christmas Eve three years ago and we married the following May 4th. That's Star Wars Day but sadly, your mommy wouldn't agree to a Star Wars themed wedding. She did let me include Game of Thrones in our wedding vows. Exactly one line that goes, ' I am hers and she is mine from this day until my last day.'"

"Mommy wanted to start a family right away. We tried and tried but to no avail. Each month your mommy would shed her uterine lining and I would bring her ice cream, her favorite is Chunky Monkey, and we would cry and watch Baby Geniuses together. After a year, and still no you, we went to a doctor... a medical doctor , not a mommy and daddy doctor. Oh, I forgot to tell you that. Mommy and Daddy are PhD doctors. We are far superior over medical doctors because we continue the pursuit of knowledge and understanding of the universe. Medical doctors just deal with yucky and squishy things. It turned out to be Daddy's fault. I have a low sperm count, so we decided to try to make a baby in a Petri dish and inject it into mommy's uterus. The first time, nothing happened. The second time, oh, we were elated when the pregnancy test turned positive. But all that was for naught. The baby stopped developing at 9 weeks. Mommy was crushed. She blamed herself and wanted to give up. I asked mommy to try one last time. But it turns out we didn't need to do ivf again because little did we know, we had made you the night that mommy accepted her Nobel, and now, nine months later, here you are, Joseph Alfred Fowler-Cooper. You're named for Joseph Babinski and Alfred Nobel. I'll teach you all about them and their theories. Well, maybe it's better that mommy does that. She once told me that, 'Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and deficates Clarke-Maxwell.' Can you keep a secret? Of course you can, what am I thinking? Mommy's wrong. Mommy has only ever been wrong about three things, that Babinski is superior to Clarke-Maxwell, that in a battle between Cat Woman and Wonder Woman, Cat Woman would win, and that the greatest movie ever made is Serial Apeist 2. We all know that it's Star Wars the Force Awakens."

He hears Amy laughing and smiles as he looks over at her.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. I've been listening to you fill our son's head full of lies the entire time. Can you bring him to me? I need to nurse."

_Our_ son.


End file.
